“Debutante”

(my perspective on pageant recent experience)

 

After the busy days of my 8 years old first experience on a pageant, I was draw to collect my observations.  I watched, listened, looked and saw girls from different ages and backgrounds.  Some showed dreamy, exciting little faces, others (mostly the older ones) their own fears, teary faces just before the great finale…  I gave a hand to a girl who needed to fit on her stunning dress; her eyes told me how scared she really was! 

My own daughter was there as spirited as she is, many times unconcern with the pageant demands but at the end hoping “to win”.  It was rather difficult to convince her that making new friends and trying something new and have fun was enough… 

For us, she is the one, we love each other and that is the most important thing!  For a little girl being “chosen” in one of these events can be (sadly) the goal.

Don’t take me wrong, I see a few learning life skills when girls participate at these events but is it the key for a successful future?  I’m not too sure, not convince yet…

 

I believe all of us, humans, do things at times for healthy motives and many others for the wrong motives.  At times we do things even for evil motives.  I’ve seen more than a few mothers whose lives drive around the lives of their little girls.  Mothers longing for their daughters to fulfilled the dreams they once left behind, trying desperately to make their daughters look as beautiful as they wish to be…

I leave you with a poem that summarizes this reflection:

 

“Debutante”

 

Little Girl wants to study following Momma’s steps…

Go to the same college, wear Momma’s skirt.

Put on Momma’s high heels,

dream others’ dreams

not knowing if dreams belong to herself

or if she is a reflection of unfinished tales…

 

She walked through those doors

Her face facing the clouds.

She could sing, she could dance

And act like she didn’t mind.

She was able to listen carefully

Since she was a child.

She could follow instructions

Hiding any shame;

Her anger disguised in a perfect smile,

Stillness

Behind the doors of a broken heart.

 

Oh how perfect the pose!

Her movements while entering

On a stage filled with lights…

Meanwhile uncertain thoughts flied by her mind:

Does Mother want me perfect?

Will she still love me if I fail?

Will she yell if I trip on my steps

Or if my curls lose their shape?

 

After the show when the lights come off,

I discovered her burning tears as she walked

Down the corridor

But she dried them right away

As she stood before an elegant mirror

To find, once more, her perfected smile…

 

Does any one know reality after a show that must go on?

Nothing clear up in the clouds,

Trembling wheelbarrows, so insecure…

But no one will notice

Because we all wear masks

At one point or another of our lives.

 

“I’ll wear a dress of confidence

Before others today.

Success is the destiny I’ll pursue…

Living others’ dreams,

Running a race others didn’t run…

Someone proclaims

I’m a girl who has dreams…

I just long

To find myself

While I look

In the mirror of this world.

Wake up one day

Without the old familiar mask,

Loving me as I am,

Just as I am.

 

To Every Princess,

Roxana Reyes Davis

7-12-11