Booboos on my Knees


(Reflections on my Journey of Healing and Deliverance)


When I was 10 years old, after a well-invested PE class, I experienced the normal urgency for drinking water.  We had to walk a bit from the parking lot back to the main building.  There was the long, wide stairs to the second floor where our classroom and the water fountain were.  I decided to run, and in my haste, fell down and badly skinned my left knee.  I didn’t feel much pain at first, but later at home, when my dad applied salt on my knee, I tell you, I saw falling stars! 


I realized I have weak ankles, making me prone to have accidents.  My knees are a living testimony of this.


Looking into my childhood days I found times when the hurt was not physical but deeper in my heart, times when a predator would take advantage of my innocence, to leave the wrong impression, the wrong perspective of life so hidden within my brain that only God by Jesus’ love could manage to find.


Where was the adult supervision I needed to have? Where was the expected parental protection?  I realized in my healing journey, despite their efforts, adults are not able to keep children in a bubble 100% of the time.  But maybe, just maybe I can prevent a few falls here and there if only…


So I’ve been a party pooper many times, trying to protect my three little ones from getting hurt.  I yell at them, I stop any intention of bed jumping exercises and outside painting fights after the rain.  I blame them for not staying next to me to avoid some pinched fingers or a swollen head bump or a skinned knee.  No wonder they play away from mommy’s space.  I realized through God’s teaching that my over-controlling acts of love and concerns are only perceived as lack of understanding, a mother that spoils their fun, looses her temper and gives mixed messages: patience at church, madness at home…


I decide to allow God to take over.  My past perception of life needs the recovering grace of Christ!  My children would never be able to see perfection in me but by God’s power from this day on they’ll see more compassion, more self-control, and by all means they will enjoy their silly childhood moments in spite of the unavoidable booboos on their knees!*